No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
