She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
