apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just had sex on a roof
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
