I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
