Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
