His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
