We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
