We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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