I haven't been this sober since birth.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
