508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
