Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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