I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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