Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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