you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
there is puke in my bra ... again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
