he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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