Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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