since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
