Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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