Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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