Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
