Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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