On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You were trust falling into bushes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
