so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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