so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
