Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I should be sponsored by Trojan
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
