xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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