I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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