fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
