I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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