I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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