We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
