is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
