Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
