It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
