remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
