Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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