I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
