Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
