I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
