Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
