whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
