You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
