yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
