Will you blow on my dice?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
