can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
