Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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