how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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