I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
