We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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