i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
