I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
